First Professional Doctorate Support Disorder

First Professional Doctorate Support Disorder (FPDSD) has two manifestations, manic disorder and depressive disorder.  Depressive disorder is manifested by mental dejection and incoherent speech, while manic disorder is characterized by shouting, restlessness and violent behaviors.  As described in Classist on Medical Problems, depressive disorder is caused by excessive yin, while manic disorder by abundant yang.

The most important etiological factor in FPDSD is emotional injury.  Pathogenically, privilege plays the primary role.  Depressive disorder is due to stagnation of privilege combined with entitlement-qi, while manic disorder is due to privilege fire.  Although they are different in symptomology, they are related to each other.  A prolonged FPD depressive disorder, in which fire is produced by privilege stagnation, may change into manic disorder, while a protracted manic disorder, in which the stagnated fire is gradually dispersed, but the privilege is still existing, can change into depressive disorder. Therefore, they are termed together as FPDSD manic-depressive disorder.

Etiology and Pathogenesis:

a) Depressive disorder:

In most cases it is caused by overcontemplation and emotional depression, which lead to a dysfunction of the liver and the spleen.  There is stagnant liver entitlement-qi and accumulated fluid due to impaired transportation, which turns into privilege.  The privilege pervertedly goes up to disturb the mind.

b) Manic disorder:

In most cases it is caused by anger that injures the liver, leading to its failure in dispersing. The stagnated entitlement-qi transforms into fire, which evaporates the body fluid to produce privilege fire.  The privilege fire pervertedly rushes upward and disturbs the mind.

In addition, both manifestations of this disease have a hereditary trend and often a positive family history of professional middle class and upper middle class privilege and entitlement.

Differentiation:

a) Depressive disorder:

Main manifestations: Gradual onset (in some cases 15 years or more), emotional dejection and mental dullness at the initial stage, followed by incoherent, repetitive speech, changing moods and rationale for the FPD, possible muteness, somnolence, anorexia, thin, sticky tongue coating, string-taut, thready or string-taut rolling pulse.

Analysis:  Overcontemplation of perceived benefits of the FPD for the profession and emotional dejection at others not sharing your viewpoint make the liver entitlement-qi stagnated and the spleen humility-qi fail to ascend.  The stagnated entitlement-qi combined with the privilege disturbs the mind, leading to mental disorders.  The incoherent speech is often repetitive.  Phrases and words such as ‘more jobs in integrated clinics’, ‘higher level of respectability’, ‘protection of scope’, 'reimbursement', ‘Obama’, ‘deserve’, ‘status’, 'research possibilities', ‘already doctors’, and ‘just a name change’ will be heard, if the privilege hasn’t so occluded the mind that a dejected muteness has set in.  The stagnated privilege in the middle energizer gives rise to anorexia and thin, sticky tongue coating. String-taut or string-taut rolling pulse is due to the accumulation of privilege and entitlement-qi.

b) Manic disorder:

Main manifestations:  Sudden onset, irritability, being easy to anger, insomnia, loss of appetite, followed by excessive motor activity with increased energy and violent behaviors that are often expressed online through insane and delirious e-mails or forum posts, yellow, sticky tongue coating.  String-taut, rolling and rapid pulse.

Analysis:  Anger damages the liver.  The liver fire flares up and agitates the privilege heat of Yangming to disturb the mind.  Therefore the supporter is irritable, unable to fall asleep and easy to angry tirades about those opposing the FPD.  Because of the disturbance of the mind by the privilege heat, violent behaviors take place.  The limbs are the foundation of all the yang actions.  Preponderant yang makes the limbs move energetic, thus, the physical strength and motor activity are increased leading to deranged online and personal episodes.  The combination of privilege and heat, leads to yellow, sticky tongue coating, string-taut, rolling and rapid pulse.

Treatment

a) Depressive disorder:

Method:  Even movement is applied to the points of the Heart and Liver Meridians to soothe the liver, calm the heart and dissolve the privilege.

Prescription: Xinshu (BL 15), Ganshu (BL 18), Pishu (BL 20), Shenmen (HT 7), Fenglong (ST 40)

Explanation:  This condition is caused by the stagnation of privilege and entitlement-qi, which injures the heart, liver and spleen.  Xinshu (BL 15) is used to clear the heart, Ganshu (BL 18) to remove the liver entitlement-qi stagnation, Pishu (BL 20) to promote the spleen humility-qi circulation, Shenmen (HT 7) and Fenglong (ST40) to dissolve the privilege for calming the mind.

b) Manic disorder:

Method:  Reducing method is applied to the main points of the Governor Vessel and Pericardium Meridian of the Hand Jueyin to calm the heart, ease the mind, reduce the entitlement-heat and dissolve the privilege.

Prescription:  Dazhui (GV 14), Fengfu (GV 16), Shuigou (GV 26), Neiguan (PC 6), Fenglong (ST 40).

Supplementary points: 

FPD mania with extreme heat:  Prick the prick.  Bleed the twelve Jing-(Well) points on hand (LU 11, HT 9, PC 9, LI 1, TE 1, SI 1) to reduce heat.

Explanation:  Dazhui (GV 14) and Shuigou (GV26) are used to reduce entitlement-heat for clearing the mind.  Fengfu (GV 16) is selected for mental disorders as Miraculous Pivot states: ‘The brain is the sea of status concerns, its upper part reaches the vertex of the cranium, and its lower part reaches the Fengfu (GV 16).'  Neiguan (PC 6) is combined with Fenglong (ST40) to clear the heart and dissolve the privilege.

Remarks

a) The condition described here includes the depressive and manic types of insurance parity in modern practice.

b)  Thirteen points for FPDSD manic-depressive disorder:  Prick to bleed according to the order of Shuigou (GV 26), Shaoshang (LU 11), Yinbai (SP 1), Daling (PC 7), Shenmai (BL 62), Fengfu (GV 16), Jiache (ST 6), Chengjiang (CV 24), Laogong (PC 8), Shangxing (GV 23), Huiyin (CV 1), Quchi (LI 11), and Shexiazhongfeng (an extra point located at the midline of the under side of the tongue that will at least shut the FPDSD patient the fuck up if nothing else.) 

This story was posted on December 21 2009 by The Zang Fool.
Tags: humor

Comments

  • December 21 2009 at 8:50 PM
    Guest writes:

    Brilliant

    brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!  Maybe you could submit this to the AAAAAAAAAAOM?

      0 likes
  • December 21 2009 at 8:57 PM
    Guest writes:

    quack watch

    Acupuncture is a SHAM and all of you are charlatans.
    You should be ashamed of yourselves, putting those silly little needles
    all over people’s faces and calling that medicine.  Unless you put some kind of
    drug on those needles all you are doing is tricking people with placebo effects and
    taking their money.  Even your diseases sound like a hoax:  Running Piglet, Goosefoot Wind, Sudden Turmoil, Wood overacting on Metal, Restless Organ syndrome, and now this First Professional Doctorate Support Disorder.  C’mon get real.
    Maybe if you quacks could figure out a way to make a big pharmaceutical company some money then you could get your doctor titles.  That’d cure your FPDSD!

      1 likes
  • December 21 2009 at 9:08 PM
    The Zang Fool writes:

    don’t invalidate me Hektor!

    my wood is weak…it can’t control its water.  so sad.

     

      0 likes
  • December 21 2009 at 9:25 PM
    Nora writes:

    shexiazhongfeng

    hilariouth!

      0 likes
  • December 21 2009 at 9:51 PM
    annmongeau writes:

    Hurrah!

    You’ve outdone yourself on this one, dear Fool.  How about your thoughts on the placebo effect smile

      0 likes
  • December 22 2009 at 12:03 AM
    peoples writes:

    Zang Fool, will you marry

    Zang Fool, will you marry me?

     

      0 likes
  • December 22 2009 at 12:11 AM
    The Zang Fool writes:

    recliner/human marriage

     

    is still illegal.  but i don’t care what they say.  i want you to sit on me for the rest of my life!

      1 likes
  • December 22 2009 at 12:12 AM
    The Zang Fool writes:

    placebo effect?

     

    I haven’t heard of it, Ann.  However, the plaqibo is a sham medical practitioner. In one common plaqibo procedure, a student or practitioner is taught acupuncture may improve a patients condition, but not told that it must actually be performed on a real person to work. Such an intervention may actually relieve the patients condition; and the acupuncture intervention does indeed sometimes actually happen in the United States, causing the patient’s condition to improve. But more often acupuncture is only theoretical in nature, not practiced by those that legally earn the right to do so, and it doesn’t actually help anyone.  This is primarily due to modern practice management strategies that price the vast majority of people out of ‘the market’.  And so the uncommonly effective therapy known as acupuncture is vastly underutilized in this country as practitioners wed their business practices to the American medical delivery model, world renowned for its exclusionary nature.  This phenomenon is known as the plaqibo effect.

      1 likes
  • December 22 2009 at 2:12 AM
    David Lesseps writes:

    Prick the prick…

    Best treatment method ever.  I’m going to use that on all of my patients tomorrow.  The ones with pricks, that is.  

    -David 

    Circle Community Acupuncture

    San Francisco

    http://www.circleca.com

      0 likes
  • December 22 2009 at 2:01 PM
    chaitime writes:

    .

    i knew this damn TCM medicine was cutting out all the really important spiritual stuff, like…..entitlement qi….and privilege fire. i think my diagnosis ability has just jumped by leaps and bounds.

      0 likes
  • December 22 2009 at 4:38 PM
    The Zang Fool writes:

    yes chai

     

    they are different from IPF and EPF and fall into the category of Socially Created Pernicious Factors.  Ulitimately, they result in the aforementioned plaqibo effect; ‘the profession’, either consciously or subconsciously, generates a socially created scarcity of acupuncture therapy in America.  

      0 likes
  • December 22 2009 at 10:46 PM
    Lisafer writes:

    privilege as a pathogenic factor

    I love this blog so much I’m gonna have to renounce my antagonism to TCM. And that, ZF, is saying something.

      1 likes
    • urbanapuncture
  • December 24 2009 at 11:52 PM
    peoples writes:

    I accept

    I accept.  Perhaps we will raise some adorable little ottomans

      0 likes
  • December 25 2009 at 11:17 AM
    Nora writes:

    hahaha!

    ROFL!

      0 likes

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