Healing Begins at Home

If this post is a repeat of the one I began before, forgive me, I thought it was lost in the ethers. Yesterday was the full moon, sometimes called the Storm Moon, and I have certainly experienced lightening and rain in the month leading to it. I have had many challenges (a rounded word on the tongue to mean "hellish melange of obstacles") in the last month, and I am trying to respond to them in my way-- as the song implies, with human frailty and ineptness. The cup is already broken.

Clinically, good stuff, and I am learning at my very edges. I don't feel I have enough time to study cases, which made me realize I need office help. Learning to let other people take on helping roles in the ways they can is teaching me about the ways I am uniquely able to help, and it has me thinking about how to do more with my time each day. Patterns are emerging in groups of patients----- and in the same time-frame, because many people can afford to see me. I'm looking at about 10 tongues a day., with a 4 day week. I am at a transition point where, I can't take on too many more patients until I figure out how to deal with the volume of charting, filing, calling. I need a doorbell, for instance. I thought of a feng-shui cure to solve the trash and food stuffs problem on the sidewalk by drawing a kitty face on the curb in front. It is an old hobo sign meaning, "Good woman here", and implies a person who helps people in need. So, sit here happily, but take your bones and straws with you. It has worked as a charm, and I am going to get a bench this month and force some tulips in a big pot beside it. A good flow of referrals and interest. The Hasidic community has found WorkSong, asking me to learn new ways of reference and conversation. Example: Me: "And what do you think made you faint?" She, exasperated,"Well, I was hit by the car," There was a sweeping motion of the hand earlier, like when you bend to swat someone on the butt, that was supposed to convey this (very serious MVA), a thing to not be named-- and I missed it. A woman came in wanting help with pain before she cooked for 20 people for Purim yesterday. Part of my study is doing things like looking up Purim. The children wear wacky costumes and there is festivity all day, causing royal traffic snarls as whole school buses park sideways and people wander into the street. Apparently there are acupuncturists who will needle through your pantyhose, and I will not compromise to do this. I feel strongly about assessing the condition of the feet, skin, heels, achilles tendon.... I know you're with me.

I am also seeing a fair number of 20-somethng young women with stress-induced sudden onset skin conditions. As daunting as it is to write, I am doing well with this (as of this week) by providing needed stress relief and earthy reassurance, as well as another earth element, laughter. My R2-D2 cooler is still in the kitchen from our party, and I've been showing the pictures from "Four Paws, Five Directions" that have a Siamese and a Wiermeraner leaping about with the meridians on them. I was intimidated because I previously haven't had good results with psoriasis and excema, but I put that aside and looked into the individual signs and symptoms. One difference in these skin cases (from ones I've treated previously) is the sudden onset, but I will not discount that it has been a huge help to be already familiar with these patients and their patterns. Also, they were able to see me 2 times a week for a few weeks to build pivotal momentum. There is such a healing resonance and connection when you are able to treat someone over time, and I think that is an amazing thing about CA. I feel so privileged that people are continuing to spend their dollars with me, and as a practitioner it's truly great to have enough access to patients to see patterns. How many private practitioners have enough patients to conduct a study that really pays attention to the parameters of our medicine?

WorkSong is going in a good orderly direction, though my landlord decided to raise the rent after all, but I have been on a steep learning curve. I am doing well for someone who only a year ago could barely stand to go into a bank. Still learning to pull the gold from the dross in that situation, but I have found ways. I used to be terribly upset by the ugly lights, the uniforms, the perceived anger and danger----- but after talking with several of the employees I've concluded that they really are not bothered in the way I am--- why, it's as if they are different people! I could not work in a bank, so I'm going to learn to do acupuncture as well as I'm able.

The most relevant lesson for me these past weeks has been my own physical body demanding to be listened to and treated with regard. Insisting on managing every aspect of everything myself left me tired and vulnerable to a flu that lasted 2 weeks, during which I traveled and worked until I had to get into bed. A hotel room with laryngitis is a pretty stark indicator, and I had some listenin' and 'splainin' to do with myself. I know the illness was compounded by grief, as my brother died a few months ago. That insight did not make me immediately well, or my lungs less delicate, as I entered into treatment and meditations of all kinds, at all hours. Acupuncture, epsom salts, an entire box of Emergency. Warm socks and pumpkin soup. An enforced pause in the uphill battle of incarnation.  I was reminded of a Chinese story about how all the organs want to be the boss of the body, and the anus finally wins the argument. I could outline some more of the things I am working out, like spreadsheets and more stuff about the tyranny of bank visits, but nourishing myself (and by extension, my healing practice) is primary to any of the others. I bought a mini-trampoline to lift my mood. I was a little concerned about prolapse (which is just about the only contra-indication to bouncing), but like everything intention makes the difference. I make sure to bound high, land soft, and it's lovely. It is true that the cup is already broken, but as spring approaches I am drawing together the frayed edges to see what I can create.

This story was posted on March 11 2009 by Isobeau Trybula.
Tags: musings

Comments

  • March 11 2009 at 4:35 PM
    tessmcginn writes:

    you have talent as a writer and talent as a human

    I hope you continue to do both for many, many years to come.

      0 likes

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