Song to Keep Up Your Sleeve


Hey everyone. This being my first blog entry, it would seem appropriate for me to go in to my story and maybe write a blog about my experiences with community acupuncture or something like that....that blog idea is in the shop, so I'll save the spiel for another day and for now just say, HI! My name is Josh. Please be forewarned as well, propper grammar isn't my strong point. I love run-on sentences, excessive use of commas, my spelling can be iffy, and I often tend to work in some slang that isn't generally accepted or even used by anyone else other than.....well, me. Sometimes I'll even create new grammar rules based solely on how it looks on paper aesthetically. Thanks for your dilligence in getting through it. Godspeed to you!

A Song to Keep Up Your Sleeve, a tune to hum.

A play on words, a practical tool.

Divine intervention, an ancient medical text.

I have always found myself giving nicknames. Often it's for people, but places, things, situations, and any other type of nameable scenario might find itself a new name as well. The names often appear on their own accord. i don't usually even know where they come from or why they do, but they do. And in the same way the appear and take form, they usually begin to change form and take on a life of their own by morphing in to continued variations on the theme. Not unlike the telephone game, a name might end up quite far from its original reference it was given. It becomes part of an oral history through time though, adapting to the needs and serving the given moment. I think of Chinese medicine and acupuncture in this regard too. Through time Chinese medicine is always born again and again, shaped by the context of the given time period, continent, culture, etc. and that is what is so powerful and beautiful about it. Its fluid. The rules by nature always change and it is a part of a bigger cycle of events than we can even imagine. As we explore and continue to dive in to its depths, we are learning not just the names of the old songs and how to sing them, but HOW to sing so that we may write our own songs.

With that said here is my current playlist of nicknames for point protocols. still trying to find the ICD-9 codes so I can bill insurance for them....

Deck the Galls: (Gb34/Beside 3 miles/GB41). Disperse!

The David Copperfield: When you've hand scanned the body for needles after a treatment 4x, but when they get up, ouch! somehow you missed one...and St36 of all places?!?

Full Metal Jacket: (Ht3/7, PC3/7, LU5/9). Mirrors all leg meridians!

The M.F.ML10 Experience!:(Miriam Lee 10 points). Like gettin tossed a softball for a home run treatment. Don't ask what the needles were dipped in....

The Jean Claude Van Damme: Usually happens when you are getting too comfortable and when your face is a little too close to the foot. You needle in to LV3 and have to quickly dodge an unexpected foot to the face.

Tripple Jiao, Tripple Ow: Is it just me or is almost every point on this meridian sketchy.

Renny and the Jets:(4 doors, ren6/12 and St25s). sometimes you just gotta get things moving.

The Bermuda Triangle:(bi tong & yin tang). Because sinus congestion disappears. har har.

The Dark One Cometh:(St8s). eh.

The Krueger a.k.a. Nightmare On Well st.: (Any of Richard Tan's 1:4 or jing well heavy treatments). You do want your patient's to come back right?

Eureka! a.k.a There Will Be Blood... (That big fat purple vein at UB40 taunting you to a duel).

The Shenhawk:(Du20/24 and Yin Tang). Who said Punk rock and acupuncture have nothing in common?

Highway to the Danger Zone:(Ren 1/Du 1 return treatment). I heard the Zang fool has a whole practice built on this protocol alone. funny how everyone fits the Differential Dx.

The Chicago Typewriter: Your patient with what seemed to be a simple case of digestive upset is 8 treatments deep...with ZERO improvement. Oops, did I really just put in 45 needles???

The Jean Paul Sartre: You are stuck. Complex case and no idea where to begin. you start putting in needles anyway, but with each insertion you wonder WHY did i just do that point!? and it only gets progressively worse as you seem to have no mental or physical control over the process and can only bear witness to each of the next points going in with even less of a reason than the one before it....the screams in your head are getting louder and louder, demanding to know WHY!?! at the end of your shift you collapse in to the deepest darkest recesses of the known and unknown universes and swear off all human contact forever. But you eventually pull it together and come out of your complete mental collapse over the futility of it all a few days later, put your clothes back on and come down from the mountain top only to run in to your patient at the grocery store..... It was the best treatment she's ever had....those voices again....WHY!!!???

Contraindicated protocols: 

-the schedule emptier:(at least 1/2 or Tungs points). If you're not needling the hand/palm, face, or  finger, you are bleeding tai yang in to a bucket.

-no SHUS, no shirt, no service: self explanatory.

-talkin' bad insertion blues: it's bad.

This story was posted on March 22 2010 by chaitime.
Tags: humor

Comments

  • March 22 2010 at 11:18 PM
    Whitsitt writes:

    I love the shen hawk… use

    I love the shen hawk… use it all the time.

      0 likes
  • March 23 2010 at 1:40 AM
    David Lesseps writes:

    Highway to the Danger Zone

    Highway to the Danger Zone:(Ren 1/Du 1 return treatment)

    That’s a through and through with one needle, right? 

     

    David
    The Hammer from SF

      0 likes
  • March 23 2010 at 12:31 PM
    Lisafer writes:

    I love this blog

    Especially The Jean Paul Sartre. Who has not had this experience? The only thing worse is the sequel, when the patient asks you to do it again!

      0 likes
  • March 23 2010 at 2:29 PM
    The Zang Fool writes:

     


    “Highway to the Danger

     

    “Highway to the Danger Zone:(Ren 1/Du 1 return treatment). I
    heard the Zang fool has a whole practice built on this protocol alone.
    funny how everyone fits the Differential Dx.”

    there’s nothing that a good finger in the butt won’t fix.

      0 likes
  • March 23 2010 at 2:57 PM
    royg writes:

    LOVE IT!!!!

    Roy Green Pach

    Jerusalem Community Acupuncture

    14 Hillel Street, Jerusalem

    972-50-3007209

    www.dikur.net

      0 likes
  • March 23 2010 at 6:19 PM
    Nora writes:

    Welcome to you, sir!

    You set the bar pretty high with your first post.  I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard since the last ZF post.  (I almost got JCVD’d the other day, too!  And the JPS is my favorite.)

      1 likes
  • March 23 2010 at 7:59 PM
    chaitime writes:

    .

    cool, glad you liked it. i gotta say, your posts have always brought many a’ laugh to me.

    i forgot one more too:

    The FPD: pneumothorax.

      0 likes
  • March 23 2010 at 10:09 PM
    ellengrover writes:

    No, it is not just you!

    it is me too!  triple jiao, triple owww, I totally agree. 

    Thanks for the laughs… and the line to use next time someone demands a back treatment. 

    I wish I could photocopy this list and next time a patient asks me what I am doing to them, I’ll pull it out, circle a treatment, and hand it over.  So easy! 

      1 likes
  • March 23 2010 at 10:42 PM
    keithananda writes:

    LOL!  

    LOL! 

    i humbly submit these offerings for the list:

    butt rock:  when distal points won’t move that local hip/glute pain, get out the 5-cun 30-40mm and hit those trigger points in the lateral rotaters and glutes.  GB 29 or 30 anyone?

    stayin’ alive: stayin alive, ah ha ah ha stayin alive , stayin’ aliiiiive… a couple of my patients fall asleep slumped to the side during treatment - i pause walking by to see if they are still breathing. phew.

    lightning strikes (aerosmith): yoo-hoo, Josh, Larry, wanna get a treatment?  heh heh.

      0 likes
  • March 24 2010 at 12:08 PM
    emily writes:

    phew!

    Keith, I so relate to “stayin’ alive,” especially with anyone over 80!

      0 likes
  • March 25 2010 at 8:03 PM
    obnicole writes:

    perfect.
    hilarious.
    and so,

    perfect.

    hilarious.

    and so, so true.

      0 likes
  • March 25 2010 at 10:06 PM
    Naomi writes:

    LOL!

    I love it! Big fan of Deck the Galls and Shen Hawk. As for the Sartre… so familiar. I love this post, keep ‘em coming!

    Naomi

      0 likes
  • March 26 2010 at 11:28 AM
    melissa writes:

    so, so fun

     LMAO

    congrats on landing the monster TCA gig! and wicked glad to have you on here

    please keep this list growing, we’re gonna need it for the future lesson plans…

     

    Melissa

    Good health is not a measure of adapting to a sick society.

    When the power of love outshines the love of power, the world will know peace.

      0 likes
  • March 27 2010 at 10:03 PM
    melissa writes:

    you were in my brain today…

     as i put in ba feng and thought: “wolverine!”

     

    Melissa

    Good health is not a measure of adapting to a sick society.

    When the power of love outshines the love of power, the world will know peace.

      0 likes
  • November 13 2012 at 12:07 PM
    Roppy writes:

    Fibrospecial is for Dr. Tan’s fibro treatment for when everything hurts but nothing in particular stands out.  Patients will start saying “I need a fibrospecial today.”

      0 likes

Add your 2 cents!

You must be logged in to comment on the blog.


Who Likes This:

  • Roppy
-- placeholder --

Who's been POCAing lately.

  • Roppy commented on the blog post 'What Went Wrong with Acupuncture in the West? A Theory' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Wednesday, November 13, 2019
  • jaxrogers commented on the blog post 'Loan Forgiveness' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Monday, November 04, 2019
  • WillC commented on the blog post 'How to Succeed in CA Without Really Trying' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Sunday, November 03, 2019
  • WillC commented on the blog post 'Loan Forgiveness' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Saturday, November 02, 2019
  • OpenSourceEverything commented on the blog post 'POCAfest Marin Keynote: Chronic Pain and Endurance, by Jeff Levin of SOAP' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Wednesday, October 16, 2019
  • Paxcow commented on the blog post 'POCAfest Marin Keynote: Chronic Pain and Endurance, by Jeff Levin of SOAP' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Wednesday, October 09, 2019
  • swiggs commented on the blog post 'POCAfest Marin Keynote: Chronic Pain and Endurance, by Jeff Levin of SOAP' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Wednesday, October 09, 2019
  • ChrisRogers commented on the blog post 'POCAfest Marin Keynote: Chronic Pain and Endurance, by Jeff Levin of SOAP' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Thursday, October 03, 2019
  • ewolfk commented on the blog post 'Come to Marin POCAfest September 27-29!' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Friday, August 16, 2019
  • urbanapuncture commented on the blog post 'YOUR COMMENTS, PLEASE!' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Thursday, August 15, 2019
  • crismonteiro commented on the blog post 'YOUR COMMENTS, PLEASE!' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Tuesday, August 13, 2019
  • Roppy commented on the blog post 'YOUR COMMENTS, PLEASE!' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Tuesday, August 13, 2019
  • catemax commented on the blog post 'Dear Prospective Punk (from a Recent Grad and New Punk), or Why We Need POCA Tech' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Friday, July 26, 2019
  • joanneo commented on the blog post 'Cohort 3 Graduation Speech by Jess Long' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Monday, July 08, 2019
  • Bob W commented on the blog post 'Cohort 3 Graduation Speech by Jess Long' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Tuesday, July 02, 2019
  • melissa commented on the blog post 'Cohort 3 Graduation Speech by Jess Long' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Monday, July 01, 2019
  • mcandela55 commented on the blog post 'Acupuncturists As Endangered Species' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Wednesday, June 26, 2019
  • Lisafer commented on the blog post 'Acupuncturists As Endangered Species' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Tuesday, June 25, 2019
  • melissalac commented on the blog post 'Acupuncturists As Endangered Species' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Tuesday, June 25, 2019
  • zedmunds commented on the blog post 'Keynote POCA Fest Milwaukee May 2019 -- ALL EARS!!!' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Thursday, June 20, 2019
  • engerin commented on the blog post 'Student Circle at POCA Tech -- Guest Post by Shelby and Sonya' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Thursday, June 20, 2019
  • Roppy commented on the blog post 'Acupuncturists As Endangered Species' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Monday, June 17, 2019
  • mcandela55 commented on the blog post 'The Vows of Hua Tuo and Sun Si Miao..Actually Carried Out' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Friday, June 14, 2019
  • mcandela55 commented on the blog post 'Acupuncturists As Endangered Species' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Thursday, June 13, 2019
  • mcandela55 commented on the blog post 'Acupuncturists As Endangered Species' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Thursday, June 13, 2019
  • Presence_CA commented on the blog post 'Acupuncturists As Endangered Species' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Monday, June 10, 2019
  • Presence_CA commented on the blog post 'Acupuncturists As Endangered Species' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Monday, June 10, 2019
  • Lisafer commented on the blog post 'Acupuncturists As Endangered Species' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Friday, June 07, 2019
  • teatree commented on the blog post 'Acupuncturists As Endangered Species' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Friday, June 07, 2019
  • teatree commented on the blog post 'Acupuncturists As Endangered Species' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Friday, June 07, 2019
  • janisx commented on the blog post 'Acupuncturists As Endangered Species' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Thursday, June 06, 2019
  • janisx commented on the blog post 'Acupuncturists As Endangered Species' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Thursday, June 06, 2019
  • swiggs commented on the blog post 'A Successful May Membership Drive!!' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Thursday, June 06, 2019
  • Arene commented on the blog post 'A Successful May Membership Drive!!' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Tuesday, June 04, 2019
  • Lisafer commented on the blog post 'A Successful May Membership Drive!!' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Tuesday, June 04, 2019
  • Paxcow commented on the blog post 'A Successful May Membership Drive!!' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Tuesday, June 04, 2019
  • Cynthia Marie commented on the blog post 'Why more punks in more places…' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Wednesday, May 29, 2019
  • swiggs commented on the blog post 'Why more punks in more places…' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Friday, May 24, 2019
  • Bob W commented on the blog post 'Why more punks in more places…' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Wednesday, May 22, 2019
  • mcandela55 commented on the blog post 'Keynote POCA Fest Milwaukee May 2019 -- ALL EARS!!!' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Wednesday, May 22, 2019
  • Laura commented on the blog post 'I Am Closing My Clinic -- Guest Post by Michelle Rivers' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Tuesday, May 21, 2019
  • Laura commented on the blog post 'Keynote POCA Fest Milwaukee May 2019 -- ALL EARS!!!' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Monday, May 20, 2019
  • Paxcow commented on the blog post 'Keynote POCA Fest Milwaukee May 2019 -- ALL EARS!!!' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Monday, May 20, 2019
  • crismonteiro commented on the blog post 'The Vows of Hua Tuo and Sun Si Miao..Actually Carried Out' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Monday, May 13, 2019
  • Roppy commented on the blog post 'The Vows of Hua Tuo and Sun Si Miao..Actually Carried Out' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Wednesday, May 08, 2019
  • Paxcow commented on the blog post 'The Vows of Hua Tuo and Sun Si Miao..Actually Carried Out' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Monday, May 06, 2019
  • Lisafer commented on the blog post 'Toward a Culture of Safety: Part 4, AERD as Relationship Management' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Monday, April 29, 2019
  • ellengrover commented on the blog post 'Toward a Culture of Safety: Part 4, AERD as Relationship Management' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Saturday, April 27, 2019
  • ewolfk commented on the blog post 'Toward a Culture of Safety, Part 1' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Friday, April 12, 2019
  • Paxcow commented on the blog post 'All Ears!' in the blog 'Prick Prod and Provoke Blog' - Thursday, March 28, 2019